I’ve never taken to boxing and so my experience and knowledge of Michael Buffer primarily stems from my nights watching WCW.

My most abiding memory of the man who has somehow made millions from yodelling five words into a microphone is his introductions from Goldberg’s World Championship win over Hollywood Hogan on Monday Nitro, July 6th, 1998.

Buffer seems like a man who was born looking that way. A child who skipped having dark hair went right into the stark but still oddly natural-looking silver that adorns his bonce. You may suspect he just appeared in a boxing ring one evening, not having been conceived or born; some kind of hollering Jesus plonked on Earth to guide his people to salvation.

His appearance at the recent bout between Anthony Joshua and Eric Molina showed that as well as being born old, he doesn’t appear to want to age either. Or maybe it’s a waxwork. It’s actually quite hard to tell.

So what’s the secret of eternal life? Become a boxing announcer and let other people beat each other to death in front of and around you. Who knew it has been that simple all along?



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